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Once upon a time.... there was a little dog called Pogo. Cute as a button he was. Pogo had heard, through networking and what have you, of this little Toy Poodle called Tenika. Rumor had it Tenika would not had been adverse at meeting our young hero if only he made efforts to contact her.
Trouble was, Pogo lived about as far south on the East Coast as you could go and, Tenika resided on a small Pacific Island about as far north on the West Coast, as you could go. But, Pogo was determined to make contact with Tenika and after many moons.... sniffing clues here and there, he had unearthed her cyberspace address and wrote her what, we humans would charitably call a "billet doux".
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Following is a copy of the 'billet-doux' sent by Pogo to Tenika:
Tenika : Oh Tenika, girl of my dreams! I, too, am a hard working dog, ruler of my domain and master of my humans. My mom is a hard working web designer and my dad is retired... which mom spells R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D. My job is to keep them from getting into each other's hair. Dad is balding so that problem is pretty much half-way resolved. I live in Florida, home of the ticks and fleas. I've recently joined AARP as of my 11th birthday.
Seems you and I are compatible! My hobbies are laying in the sun; playing pull-toy; interior design (I love to spread my stuffed animal collection around the house in an expression of my latent artistic talents;) walking in the moonlight; swimming in my own lake (mom hates when I do that, something about offending her olefactory senses;) and fine dining. I also am the president of the Western Florida Wishbone Fan Club. Would you believe he never writes me back? Can you get to a chat room sometime when your human is not around? I feel we are kindred spirits.
Sincerely, Pogo
This was the catalyst of what was to become known as "the puppy love story to beat all puppy love stories!" Pogo's 'billet-doux" to Tenika was to unleash the greatest search ..... but I'm getting ahead of myself...
First, I should introduce the main players ...
And now......from Sunny Florida, Heeeeeeeeeeere's P O G O !
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A great multitude of species of the human race determined to join their efforts in order to fulfill Pogo's wish and effect the meeting between this gentle specimen of the canine race and hopefully, an equally gentle specimen of the bovine race. Not a minor endeavour, if you ask me. But in order to make some sense out of all this, I must explain how Pogo came about to yap that dreaful, heart-wrenching call for help "My Kingdom for a cow".
As things turned out, the search for Tenika had taken so long that by the time the message was posted to Tenika's cyberspace address, the poor, dear Tenika had passed away. I am no tear-jerker story writer and it is beyond my capability to take up to twelve and a half pages to describe what poor Pogo felt. I can actually say it in just four words: "He hurt like hell!"
Perhaps something clicked which re-arranged poor Pogo's molecules in that part of the heart that controls emotional heartbreaks.... perhaps it was simply a latent emotion awaiting the proper explosion to blow it sky high... heck, I don't know but one thing I can tell you: Pogo was never the same thereafter!
As the story evolves, we will more than likely get to the bottom of this affair but if we do, we will learn it from Pogo's lips..... well, perhaps not his lips but his narrative in print. And this is where the 'real' story begins. In the following paragraph, you will be witness to the actual exchange of correspondence between various personae, all aiming to fulfill Pogo's wish. In order to add some credibility to this story, all correspondence published from this point onward has been verified and certified by the accounting firm of "Beans, Bones and Feed" of Omaha as being true and faithful reproduction of the originals as presented to them.
You may have noticed the absence of a photographic reproduction of Pogo's new friend... Very astute! But then again, this makes sense because , at this point of the story, pogo is not even aware a search for a friend has even begun. But it has. to wit.... here is the first official piece of correspondence sent through cyberspace on the subject!
Following was the first contact made with the keeper of Pogo's kingdom.... and the reply to same.
Oh, by the way, I may have found a penpal for Pogo. I'm presently in deep negotiations with it's owner, trying hard to convince him it would be in his pet's benefit if his pet was to meet a nice pal like Pogo.
Of course, such matters take a while to come to successful conclusion but we'll succeed finding Pogo that friend he has longed for for so long.
He is waiting with bated breath... wait..... that could be his normal condition! :o)
I kept looking at his photo in my friend's page and asking myself.. "self! how can I help pogo save his kingdom?" Well, I'm happy to inform you that, should Pogo fall for my newfound friend, his kingdom is saved.
Thank goodness!!! I had to hide the beef in my freezer so he would not protest!
Indeed, should the negotiations be successful, I will be able to fullfil Pogo's deepest wish and introduce him to the cutest, most stunning little cow I ever have layed eyes on....
Awwwwww!!! How precious! Did I ever tell you that my threesome would get a tad bored on our cross-country trips (fromFlorida to Seattle qualifies as cross country.) We taught them to look for Moo-Cows in the pastures we would pass. You have no idea how excited they would get when seeing those lovely creatures grazing. And the funny thing is that they did know the difference between horses and cows, even in passing at 55 mph. Horses do not have the attraction for my Pogo as do those brown eyed wonders. Just mentioning Moo-Cows to him will get him up and panting!
I would send you her picture but she is the shy type and said she would prefer meeting Pogo first. And, she added, knowing how bad the Web can be.... she would only send a caricature of herself at first. The photo would follow only after having duly met Pogo.
That is understandable. A woman after my own heart!
Just like Pogo, she hails from a good family and gives much value to good manners and decorum.
Then I better not share photos of the Pogo guy sniffing, licking and doing a general groom job.
Let me know what Pogo's reaction is to all this. After all, he did exclaim once 'My kingdom for a cow'
And he is thrilled! Would love to have an attractive cow-person with which to share his innermost thoughts. What an amazing matchmaker you are, my pal!
Well, Pogo..... your most cherished wish may come true!
Woof, woof, arf, woofsie, arooooooooo!!!!!
PS Should Pogo be interested in meeting this fabulous penpal, please ask him to just send me a message with I CAN'T WAIT as the subject matter.
He is chomping at the bit (no, that may be my mouse cord, not a bit) and will do so immediately upon my relinquishing the chair! Must get Pogo his own mouse and pad. He needs a trackball! Seems to have a few problems with the mouse buttons.... Pads and no fingers, you know.
Any additional comments in the body of the message is optional. I just heard the chimes on the spell checker going berserk. He may have snuck in a letter while I went to get coffee.
To: Pogo
From: The desk of Arturo Almoonovish, Secretary to Annabel Moocowsky
Annabel has asked me to convey her regrets to you that she cannot reply to your urgent queries just now as she is quite involved, "head over tail" was the expression she used, with matters of the outmost urgency regarding CIA operations.
She asked me to assure you she will make your problem, 'her' problem as quickly as she can crawl from the abyss where the present crisis has sent her.
Yours mooooore than truly,
Arturo Almoonovish,
Secretary to Annabel Moocowsky
PS: In reply to your earlier moossage, not posted here: Your booboo insofar as regards the apparent mixup of graphics is not really operationally a booboo as yet because she ain't seen it yet. Only I have seen it and I don't count for much around here. She mentioned she was awaiting the arrival of her brother Annabeau so they can both enjoy the expected laugh when they first view the said graphics, included the alleged boobooed one.
Believe you me, knowing those two, they'll need a good laugh by the time this whole mess is over or buried under the carpet.. as we like to solve problems here at CIA/
Eh! Keep the faith Pogo (an old Canuk expression of which I don't approve, if you ask me!)
Shortly, very shortly after the original 'info-pack' message had been sent, the following message came in...
Subject: I CAN'T WAIT!
Dere Mr. Freind of My Mommie!
I here ewe have a nothe r freind that is fuzzie, warm and prettie. I nede a penpal, two! I no that interspecies dating may not bee axeptible in sum cyrcles but I find Im very atrakted to cows for raisons unown to me!
Pleez tell yore prettie litle cow freing I wood like to git 2 no her.
Yore Furrie Freind, Pogo
And Pogo had sent the following little graphic... as an offering!
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From: The desk of Annabel Moocowsky
To: Pogo
Dear Pogo,
Good Moooooing,
My name is Annabel Moocowsky and I am the Public Relations Vice-president of the CIA , affectionately known as the Canadian Institute of Elphacowlogy.
My brother, Annabeau Moocowsky (a little knowledge of French will help get the joke here,) came to me with the oddest, most unusual request I have ever faced in my multi-faceted career.
I still cannot quite fathom the meaning of all this, much less understand any part of it, but he kept talking about this doll of a beaut' of the canine species wanting to give his kingdom away for a cow !!! Well, I may not have logged in right away but I assure you.... he had my undivided attention from that moment on.
To hear my brother Annabeau unroll the yarnm, it would appear this little angel named, as you guessed it I am certain by now, Pogo, had not been himself lately, ever since he had heard of the passing away of a beautiful little Poodle named Tenika.
Already, my heart went to poor little Pogo. So sad... to lose a loved one but.... when Annabeau informed me Pogo had lost his dream even before he had had a chance to meet her.... well, I assure you, it was Tear City!
"A cow for my kingdom" you say? How quaint! How generous! How desperate!
Already, I have positive vibes about all this and I am sure my poor Moomoo would be delighted to enter into penpalship ( pen... get it? moooo ooo) with you. But this would be possible only if certain conditions are met. I am not prepared to let my dear Moomoo meet just any Fido, Fifi and Tiger without close chaperoning!
If I am to agree to this, the exchange of words between the two new-found friends which soon can evolve to billets-doux a deux would have to be vetted by adult, mature individual of the human species.
If you believe you can meet that rather stringent criterion, I would be willing to introduce you to Moomoo, on a trial basis, you understand. Then, as time goes on, if I am of the opinion you two have a good, serious and mature relationship going... I just might consider letting in a bit of slack. But pogo.... I must warn you, in a friendly way mind you, that at the first sign of bad language, offensive and unmanly talk or such behaviour, I will pull the plug. Moomoo is of fine upbringing and I wish to protect her so.
I have attached a photo (hummmm... I mean a caricature) of my dear Moomoo. Perhaps, later.... much later, I will take the unheard of step of providing you with a 'real' photograph of my dear, dear Moomoo.
Oh.... Annabeau sends his best regards and.... he's pulling for you, dear Pogo.
Mooingly yours,
Annabel Moocowsky
Public Relations Vice-president
CIA
PS: Please address all your mail to the above address until further notice. Moomoo knows nothing of what is transpiring at the moment. I would not want her to fall head over tail for an as-yet unknown beau before ever meeting him. One such tragedy is enough and I and my brother Annabeau wish to protect her tender self. She can get so emotional at times.
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There's more to come .... so don't forget to check back soon
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